“i dotn liek going to bars and feeling stupid ....fuck trivia cuase i can get a 7 out of ten in class and feel stupid i dont need to get a seven outta ten at the bar and feel even dumber fcuk that ...........this is gona be bad tomo wieh i hagve to hand in my final lab and i have no idea wats going to happen...wish me luck and jusochslin is is anustuatlia and chilin with kangnaorooos..fucker...md jwealous say hello to the croc hunter yo..soemda ill ebthere too and be chilin with cros and shit ...umb bed and also i wear walmart clthses and hats and i think tis fine csause i dotn care and walmatr cloths arei awesome and im never graudating and zoey is the coolest”

I start off my story with Matty’s away message that he put up after we got back from Bombers last night. He was drinking LI ice teas all night, prolly had 5 or 6. He was wasted, but he could walk and talk fine, I don’t know why the bitch couldn’t type clearly. I am going to dissect this away message and let all of you know the true meaning behind it.

MATT: “i dotn liek going to bars and feeling stupid ....fuck trivia cuase i can get a 7 out of ten in class and feel stupid i dont need to get a seven outta ten at the bar and feel even dumber fcuk that…”

INTERPRETATION: I went to Bombers tonight night with Z and Jeff for Trivia night. I was pretty excited. I had never gone before and was ready to kick some fucking ass. One of the five categories was the Human Body. I went to school for this shit. I’m a fuckin Bio major. I spent hours upon hours studying this crap; I’m going to tear up this category. I was wrong. I got 70% of the answers right. That’s a fuckin C. I don’t like going to the bar and realizing that I’m an idiot here as well. I go to school for that. Fuck Trivia night. I’m never coming back to this shit. Fuck these hippies.

MATT: “this is gona be bad tomo wieh i hagve to hand in my final lab and i have no idea wats going to happen...wish me luck…”

INTERPRETATION: I just dropped my class because I was going to get a D. I’m going to take it over in the fall so whatever, I’ll get a C or better because Ill have done all the labs. Tomorrow is my last lab. Fuck though, I’m drunk and who knows what all this shit I wrote on this paper means. My professor prolly won’t even except it. Wish me luck.

MATT: “…and jusochslin is is anustuatlia and chilin with kangnaorooos..fucker...md jwealous say hello to the croc hunter yo..soemda ill ebthere too and be chilin with cros and shit…”

INTERPRETATION: Jocelyn is in Aussie Country. Im fuckin jealous. I prolly just IM’ed her. I don’t fuckin know though because Im retarded. I told her I want to come visit. Let that will fuckin happen anytime soon. Im broke as ass. I would love to play with croc’s though, being that I am Dr. Dolittle and all.

MATT: “…umb bed and also i wear walmart clthses and hats and i think tis fine csause i dotn care and walmatr cloths arei awesome…”

INTERPRETATION: Damn I gotta go to bed. Oh I bought a shit load of clothes at Wal-Mart today for work. Spent like $200 on them shits. To bad I wore a hat from there out to the bar tonight. Z was rippin on me at the bar when he realized I actually wore the shit out I told him was for work, when he made fun of me earlier. It went like this at the bar.

Z-Matt where’d you get that hat? At Wal-Mart you fuckin loser.
Matt- Haha fuck you asshole.
Z (To hot girl walking by)-Hey what do you think of this hat? Its from Wal-Mart.
Hot Girl (With her eyes rolling in her head)-Oh ya its nice. (And she hurriedly walks away)
Matt-What you don’t like my hat? Go fuck yourself you stuck up bitch. Think I care.
Z- (Laughing)

MATT: “…im never graudating and zoey is the coolest”

INTERPRETATION: As I stated before I dropped my fuckin class and I’ll prolly drop it again next semester. Im about to sleep with Zoey, I fuckin love her.

-Z