hollerrrrr
hope everyone is well
i'm in ireland... it's the shit. classes started today but i don't have any monday classes so i'm just sitting around. this is a gorgeous country-- it does rain pretty frequently but kind of differently from the way it rains at home. like it will be a sunny day and all of a sudden it will just start raining for like 20 minutes and then get sunny again. so it's not too bad. i have the most gorgeous view out of my room-- i am right off of the shannon river, and there is a little pond that runs off of the river right underneath my window where there are these precious little baby ducks and baby ducklings who swim and hang out with me. and on the river i always see swans a-swimming. the people selection has been pretty lame so far-- i've met mostly americans who are nice, but not really my crowd. i am excited for classes to start so that i can meet more people. anyway ireland is the fucking shit, and everyone should come visit me. i miss all yor faces and wish you were here with me. i got a cell phone so you might get text messages from me because it's pretty cheap for me to text to the u.s. i will try to creep you out.
hugs, kisses, and miracle wishes, lizzy scags

yo steve irwin was one crazy cat. at least he died doing what he loved the most: fucking with deadly animals

miss you guys.. now that september is here the no-more-college blues is really kickin in. we should all have a reunion sooner than later..

i hope ur all doing well.. im waitressing now and planning on going back to school to be a teacher. ive realy gotten into tennis so watch out for me at the us open in a couple years. im still w mark and the plan so far is to move to an island somewhere and have like 187,365 babies.. ill keep you posted.

oh and one more thing, i had 4 drinks at the bar and was WICKED COCKED and had an extraordinary hangover the next day.. how pitiful is that?!?!

need you stalk me

embo

it came as a huge shock to all of us. the odds that the barb would pierce his heart were about one in a cagillion. and now apparently there are really intelligent australians going around killing stingrays. in america it was pretty big news. i appreciate the blog joc. i tried to call you when i was drunk and it said your phone was disconnected and i got really pissed at you. you definetly should still visit the zoo.

matt

heyy guyss
i miss you bitches.
steve irwin died yesterday..on my birthday ..australia is upset but not as upset as those of you in america because i dont think they like him as much here. anyway this is more for matt then for anyone else. It will be ok and his zoo will continue to flourish, and I am still going to visit and send u pictures. ok that is all

p.s. Z that was a dumb story
lover youuuuuuu

The Worst Shot Ever
I was in Hotlanta, GA for my 22nd birthday, completing a training program for work. I wish it had been my 21st birthday over again. Turning 22 sucks ass. Fortunately though it was memorable, it was the first time I ever had a crack pipe shot. The following are the directions of how it is supposed to be done.
It is typically made by lighting Sambuca in a glass and allowing it to burn. The flame is then extinguished by placing the palm of the hand over the top of the glass, where suction is created causing the glass to "stick" to the hand. The Sambuca is then quickly drunk while it is still warm. You then proceed to cover the glass with your palm again, this time with a straw inserted in between two fingers. The fumes left in the glass are sucked out, fucking you and your liver up more than you need to be.
Back to the night, I was out with my group of workpeople, about ten people, one of which is the bastard who bought me the shot. Well I had a genius of a waiter giving me my first crack pipe shot ever. So Genius comes over to me handing me the shot and explains what I need to do. I have about 5 beers and 3 shots in me so I am ready to go. Everyone I am with is huddled around me, like something amazing is going to happen. I should have known better. We are outside on the deck of the Bahama Breeze, it is about 85 degrees out so fans are blowing and what not, trying to keeping the patrons cool. However this is not the ideal situation for a crack pipe shot, or any flaming shot for that matter. Genius is trying to light the shot but to no avail. He has tried it about six times, making the top of the glass hot as hell, when finally the crack is flaming…

Genius- "Alright palm it!"
I slam my hand down to create the suction.
Me-"Ahhh that’s fucking hot! I fucking burnt my hand you mother fucker!"
Meanwhile everyone is laughing at me, like this is a practical joke or something.
Genius-"Shit it’s not supposed to work like."
Me-"No Fucking Shit! I have 2nd degree burns you Asshole! I’m not doing this shit!"

After awhile I suck it up. But since I already disabled one hand for the night, I made Genius palm it this time. Afraid I am going to burn my lip, I pour half the Sambuca down my jugular and the other half on my face and shirt, and then quickly suck the fumes with the straw. Fuck that was the worst shot ever, and I will have a nice battle wound to show for it in birthdays to come.
-Z